Big Game

The gravel at Green’s Swamp
was as flat as can be
With hanging moss and white 
birds on the cypress trees

We rode our bikes straight 
through all of the way
Passing by hunters and their 
trucks most of the day

Upon the last hunter, we 
stopped for a chat
We exchanged pleasantries as 
he took off his hat

"What are you hunting?" 
We ask. His response, "Big game."
But after further prodding, 
he called it by name.

"Bigfoot," he said, much 
to our surprise.
"I've seen him," he added 
to his normal guise

Then my partner and I, 
we laughed and we shook
'Til I saw the hunter's 
face with a dead kind of look

This guy was quite serious, 
so serious indeed
With his stern look, 
my doubts had to concede

"Don't worry," the hunter said. 
"He'll leave you alone."
Then our past the scrub,
I heard something groan

It was low and deep, 
a real guttural grumble
Then off in the distance, 
I saw some trees rumble

With a crack of a branch, 
I'm sure that was the sound
But to find out for sure, 
we didn't stick around

We pedaled fast out of the 
swamp barely by nightfall
Spinning hard, out of the seat, 
no looking back at all.

We got back out on the road, 
headed towards civilization
Then laughed about what 
happened on our race vacation

“Bigfoot in Florida? 
For real?” I did say
“I thought he was in Oregon. 
There’s just no way.”

“I’ve heard of some in Georgia,”
said Ranger Jill
“In the mountains AND the coastline,” 
she said without thrill

So, if Bigfoot exists 
across this vast land,
There’s just one thing 
I don’t understand

Is there only one Bigfoot? 
Maybe three or four?
Then they must be multiplying!
There must be more!

For not only is there Bigfoot, 
but there’s Lady Bigfoot too
And Itty-Bitty Baby Bigfoot.
There’s something new!

Aunts, grandpas,
sisters and cousins
Drunk uncles, smelly grandmas 
and black sheep by the dozens

Bigfoots have families, 
just like us, you know
And before you judge them, 
it just goes to show

That the Bigfoot may be 
protecting his family, too
From hunters and bikepackers
like me and you

And maybe that moan isn’t a warning, 
but a call
Maybe he’s a southern 
Bigfoot saying, “Hey Y’all!”

Nevertheless, if you ride 
through Bigfoot’s territory
Heed what I say and learn
from this story

The best thing to do if you 
see their shadow by night
Is to pedal really fast til 
you’re clean out of sight.